August 29, 2020

Surprising Signs Your Partner Might be Cheating

The common signs of cheating might seem pretty obvious- the scent of perfume or cologne, showering after coming home from work, lipstick on a collar, a sudden interest in going to the gym and a new wardrobe…but what if your partner does none of these things and your Spidey sense is still tingling? If you have a gut feeling that your spouse or partner is cheating there are some signs of infidelity that may surprise you. If you see any of these more subtle signs of cheating as outlined in Oprah magazine, and discussed below, it may still be a red flag. Read on to learn more.

Subtle Signs of a Cheating Spouse

  1. Oversharing

Clamming up and not talking to you could be signs of an affair or that something is bothering your partner. On the flip side oversharing is also a red flag. If you ask your partner a simple question about their whereabouts or how an event was and they tell you every last detail including the name of the person who sat next to them on the subway ride on the way there, and the colour of the caterer’s hair you may have a problem. Cheaters often rehearse their answers to sound believable and these answers to routine questions are well thought out and detailed.

  1. Omission

Forgetting to tell you about a work event coming up, or that they were going to be late is a red flag, especially if it happens often. Not telling you something is lying by omission.

  1. Changes in Body Language

If your partner rocks back and forth when you talk or slouches it could suggest they are hiding something, or feeling guilty, suggests body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D. Rocking back and forth indicates nervousness and slouching or hunching over is something people do when they feel they’ve done something wrong.

  1. Gift Giving

If your spouse usually gives you a gift once a year and is suddenly Santa Claus, it is a red flag. Cheaters often do this to ease their guilt.  Take note of your partner’s mood and energy as well. “People are sometimes in a better mood than usual when they cheat,” clinical psychologist, Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay or Should I Go? says. “Their cheery countenance, coupled with a need to please and throw a partner off the tracks, can result in a generous change of behavior.”

  1. The ATM is Getting More Action than You

If your partner is suddenly paying for everything in cash it could be a red flag. Not wanting to pay by debit or credit indicates they don’t want you to know what they are buying. A credit card leaves a paper trail and cash doesn’t. If your significant other used to pay with a card and suddenly cash is King, ask yourself why.

  1. They put off Big Life Decisions or Commitments

If your partner wanted a baby but is suddenly on the fence about it and are also showing some of the other signs of infidelity it could indicate cheating. Making a big commitment when you are having an affair and have one foot out the door may be the last thing you want to do. If there is a sudden change in wanting to do something that indicates a future together ask yourself or your partner why. If your partner is reluctant to make any big joint purchases such as a house or a car it can also indicate they are not in the relationship for the long run, according to licensed family therapist David Klow. If your partner’s hesitancy isn’t due to financial concerns, it can also be a tip-off that they’re cheating—especially if this wasn’t an issue in the past.

What to Do if you Suspect your Partner is Cheating

If your partner is showing the signs of cheating that are common or the more subtle ones listed in this post, they might be having an affair. The only way to know for sure is to get evidence. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, chances are it is. Contact one of our Infidelity experts about surveillance today if you suspect your partner is cheating. We’re here to help, acting with kindness and discretion.